Ten Reasons Why
by Anony9
Summary: pour ten reasons, ten men, and ten oneshots together, add one cup of unfortunate navigator, plus add a pinch mystery man to taste, stir well annddd voila! You've got chaos-ade... or in other words "Ten Reasons Why Nami and So-and-So are Not Compatible!


**Author's Note:**_** Hey all, and how goes it in the world of fanfictioning? … Okay, so I know it's been forever since I've updated my and Big-Sis's "The Point of No Return" and I haven't posted anymore Sherlock Holmes fics in a long while, but this time I do have a good reason for my procrastination! I've moved three times since February this year so HAH! … 'sniff' (Looks down in shame.) I'm sorry, I'll try to do better in posting and updating. Anyway ya'll probably have no idea what I'm talking about, so to 'clue in' as they would say, please feel free to check out my profile and read my stories there, I would be honored if you would. Note, this scene takes place in East Blue, shortly after Sanji joins the crew.  
**_

**_Okay, so this story will be ten to eleven chapters long, a short, spoofy, comedic story about Nami and different male characters in one piece. Anyway, please note that as this is spoof/comedy there will be poking fun and minor bashing of the characters. This is _not _a bash fest! This is a story that will be poking fun at several, if not all characters in jest! So, if you have issues with me making fun of your favorite character, then don't read, and know that I'm making fun of my own favorites, okay? Okay! So no brainless bashing please, thank you. Also I do love reviews very, very much. They make me all warm and fuzzy inside, so please review. My two requests about reviews are that you don't brainlessly bash and you don't use vulgar language in your reviews, thank you. Constructive criticism will be welcome, once again thank you, and without further ado I present to you…_**

Ten Reasons Why…

Chapter one: Sanji and Nami are **N****ot **Compatible. Reason: Sanji Hovers Way to much!

"Naammmiiii-swwaaannnn," echoed the love cook's overzealous cry as he headed in the direction of said navigator, "I have your lemon meringue pie for yooouuu!"

Nami groaned in dismay, it had only been an hour and a half since she had managed to get rid of the cook, and now…he was back.

"Oi Nami, you okay?" Asked Usopp, glancing up from his cayenne-boshi* towards the troubled navigator.

"No, Sanji will **not** leave me alone! I just want to make my map of Atros island* in peace and _he_ won't let me!" She ranted.

"Well, did you ask him to cook you something?" Usopp tried.

"Yeah, lemon meringue pie."

"Lemon meringue? I thought we were out of lemons though." Usopp stated with a raised brow.

"That's what **I** thought." moaned Nami pitifully.

"Naammmiiii-swwaaannn, your pie, served with _love._" announced Sanji, twirling through the doorway into Nami's map room/Usopp's workshop and placed a plate in front of the distressed navigator. Sanji then proceeded to hover over her shoulder and dramatically shout "mellorine" every thirty seconds or so.

Usopp watched the scene in front of him for a few moments before he decided to take pity on the poor navigator.

"Hey Sanji," piped Usopp.

"You can't have any you long nose, this pie is Nami-swan and Nami-swan alone!" sneered Sanji.

Usopp rolled his eyes at their newest nakama's* stinginess and asked "Didn't you say that we were out of lemons this morning? How did you manage to make lemon meringue without lemons?"

This piked Nami's interest. "Yeah Sanji, how did you?"

"We are out of lemons, but Nami-swan wanted lemon meringue so I improvised."

"Hmm," Usopp eyed the pie, the pie eyed Usopp. "Hey Sanji what did you improvise with? The pie looks rather… _orange."_

Nami's eyebrow ticked.

"Well obviously I used the only other citrus on the ship." Stated Sanji.

Her jaw clenched.

"And that would be?" prodded Usopp.

Sanji scoffed, "The mikans* of course!" suddenly Sanji felt unsafe and exposed as if an unspeakable evil was suddenly surrounding him. "Ssaannnjjjiiii…" came a terrifying hiss from behind him. Sanji slowly turned around and then asked "Yes my darling Nami-swan?"

Pain wracked shrieks filled the air, causing a certain sleeping swordsman to acquire a new head wound and a certain captain of the Going Merry to nearly drown (And he would have too, if not for the aforementioned swordsman.) and lose his new fishing poll.

Meanwhile, Usopp sat calmly making his cayenne-boshi, occasionally munching on a bite of the delicious mikan meringue pie, and dreaming of a certain island beauty with fair lemon-gold hair and the bluest eyes that ever graced the lands or seas.

**Translations:**

Cayenne-boshi - Fire star

Atros island - A figment of my imagination

Nakama - Comrade, companion, crew-mate, friend, etc...

Mikan - Mandarin orange

Alrighty! Well that was fun, so who should I torture next? the options are:

Zoro

Usopp

Absalom

Ace

Enel

Shiki

Brooke

Coby

Or (drum-roll please)... EYELASH! (Oh yes, I did just go there.)

I hope you enjoyed, and remember please review and review kindly, thank you. Sincerely, Anony9.


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